BREAKFREE -

Its my habit to juggle with dates, and relate everything of my past, in present according to dates. I think, its not only me who keep fighting with dates, But all the other people of my age can relate themselves to this peculiar habit of mine. 

I was extremely troubled 'coz of this habit. And, if you (whosoever is reading) follows my blog, must know that my dadaji expired on 7th July'05. And my birthday falls on 9th July. I kept this hidden from the world about why I am sad on my birthday for no reasons, and kept cursing it. So far, Many people have tried making it special, But I don't accept it that way. I keep crying, and mood swings carry on for another week. Its always a bad day,

rather the worst week during the year, simply because I don't want to be happy.

Times have past. And Its hard to accept the realities of life, esp Deaths, not only for me, but most of the people.

Only yesterday, I recalled something- My dad told me few days back, He loves my birthday, and it is the only date he can't forget ever in his life because I was born! And today I realize, When he can let go his elegiac sorrows for my happiness, Why do I hold onto things so firmly, and not letting it go off!

With time, I have become rigid. I don't let go off things easily. 

I realize, When we lose one person we love deeply, We hold onto every person in our lives firmly, so that we don't lose another loved one!

I feel better now.

=PEACE

Grandparents' love

My grandparents are the indispensable part of my life, Their infinite love is what I cannot put up in words. I call my grandpa- dadaji, and grandma- maa!

I lost my dadaji at the age of 14 in an accident, and now I am left with maa, who cares like no one can, who tries to fill in the space we lost long back. I can make out, the pain she undergoes through, when past memories stuck up in her head. I was young and didn't know what I had lost then, but gradually, as I'm getting older , I miss him, I don't remember the days I spent with him, but what all I remember is, I called him- 'telephone waale dadaji', 'coz he was on phone most of the times, the permanent place he used to sit to have lunch as well as dinner, and also the talk show he used to see everyday at 9pm, and I loved to sit with him, to see his grey hair, to see him write, to see him putting on dhoti, He had an aura, that till date , I couldn't find in anybody else. 7th July, is the date he met with an accident, and since then, I curse this date. I let no one in my family travel out station, As I didn't attend his last rituals, I don't know how badly he was hurt. But deep inside, I wanted to see him, I feel that now. I was a kiddo then!

My granny, i.e. maa- is very sweet, humble, kind, and loving. Her place cannot be replaced by anyone else ever. She is the backbone of my family, and believe me, It is important to have a loving hand of elder people over us. And we need their blessings everyday. And from them ,we learn about the antiquity of our family, and their experience about their lives, the kind of life they lead, the kind of food they had.. Everything is changed now, and I know all that 'coz of maa. She is the most caring soul on the earth, in my life! 

Miss you dadaji, and love you maa.. :)

P.S.- Do respect and love your grandparents, they truly deserve the love, C'mon, they are your parents' parents. Treat them with high respect, Love them, Respect them. Please do.