I can't breakfree.

Trapped,

Chained in the opinions,

keys lost

I can't breakfree.

Affected,

living with thyself,

unwanted,

I can't breakfree.

Tempted to go back,

I can't decide,

A tune in my head,

I can't breakfree.

Dragged by emotions,

unable to face the truth,

crafting the patterns,

I can't breakfree. 

Restlessness,

Peace of mind lost,

so used,

I can't breakfree.

All lost,

noone to hold onto,

none to fall-back on,

unable to trust,

I can't breakfree. 

An excerpt...

"Knowing the nuanced details of someone’s life.
Knowing that you mean the world to him. 
Knowing that he would never ever let you go. 
Knowing that happiness became synonyms with him. 
Knowing that all my friends have accepted him as my better half. 
Everything just felt right. 
Knowing the cons of his personality. 
I kept faith in him. 
Highest level of faith that I could ever keep in someone."

When you endure pain ...

Less did I know,

in the process of enduring pain,

and learning to live with it,

and befriending agony, 

you should be happy 

or bitten by melancholia?

Blames,

guilt,

deceit,

taunts.

I wonder,

smiles that you brought,

shortlived though,

are worth missing. But,

this void,

it's creepy,

weird sounds,

and some odd imprints 

that you left behind,

I carry alongwith me,

every day, every night,

in pride, 

in the process of 

enduring the pain...

more I think about you,

more is the pain I derive,

and more, I lose my part. 

When life changes...

Life changes,

even before you start realizing.

Some changes are for good,

some changes are for bad.

Whether bad or good,

changes are dificult to accept. 

And the key to accept the changes,

is... time, and nothing else. 

My persistent smile.

I smile,

I smile all the time,


I smile when I'm tired,
I smile when I don't like anything,
I smile when people ignore me,
I smile when I'm sad,
I smile when I look myself in the mirror,
I smile when I fall,
I smile when I am fired,
I smile when people judge me,


But that doesnt mean,
I don't feel different emotions,
though people won't believe.


Because I smile,
and let it go.
Because I ignore,
and let it go.


Two-faced I am,
because I smile, 
and hide other side. 

Very less people know, 
what it takes a person to smile all the time, 
and to hide the pain behind the smile. 

On missing home-made food.

The home-made sweets,

                                              that maa- You sent to me,

I devour a bite, and keep the rest inside,

like a treasure,

Nothing tastes like the food you made,

Nothing at all.

Then why say, "Forever"?

Who has invented this word "forever"? Is there anything like "forever"? 


Forever. When someone says, "You are my friend forever"! Does that mean, that XYZ person is not going to leave you alone ever? Really? And when these two friends fight over some stupid shit, and they cry over each other's egotism, that "forever" is lost forever. 


Who/what is going to be with us forever, till death sets us apart? Any idea? Please tell me? 


"Love you forever", "friends forever", are such messages, that I find super- irritating. It's all over Facebook and other social networking sites. Under every hot-shot picture, flooded in the comments. I can't even take it when any of my friends say "love you", like that. Can't we save these words for that someone special or anyone for whom we really mean? Why everyone? 


Forever? D'oh. Everyone comes in our life, some stay for good, some stay to make life more miserable. But the common thing that follows is, they all leave. They promise each other to stay together forever. But we all know, that is not the truth. 


Go back to your sweet childhood days, and spare a moment to think about the people you have left behind till now.  Each class, new best friend? LOL. We make best friend each year, break up each year? Why? Why make best friends then? 


Life is short, we all know that. Yet, there's no one that lives with us forever. 
Everyone breaks that promise of staying together forever. No doubt, most of the people break our trust on the way. And some people just die. And then, separation becomes inevitable. 


Please stop using the word "forever", for it gives me hope about the person- which tears me apart, when broken?  Why can't all the relationships start with a guarantee card? 


What do you say now about "forever"? Anyone for "forever"? 


In this walk of life, we meet some good people whom we love deeply. We also meet some people who do no good. But the important thing is, we learn a new lesson from everyone we come across. One should never forget the lessons learnt, even if that person doesn't stay in your life. Remember to remember the lesson. That's the way we move ahead in life. :) 

Stupidest cupid. Let her live!

I travel in Metro, and usually close my ears listening to FM, but due to some problem in the way i wore my headphones, it kept felling off again and again. And I heard something so funny, That I couldn't help, but get angry.

I heard a girl talking over phone probably talking to her boyfriend, "baby, I am so sorry, I had gone to take bath, after you cut the call that time, and couldn't pick your call,Jaan, Don't get angry. " 

Oh my god? Do couples these days fight over shit like this? I felt like thrashing her that time. Dude, This is heights of possessiveness. What is the need to tell the nuanced details of your life, like you sneezed, you bathed, you taking breakfast.. blah.. blah.. I have personally known couples who fight over the useless issue of not messaging or replying within every 10 seconds. I wonder, Are they in a relationship to fight or to love? You don't trust a person whom you love for she doesn't take their call or call back, Whatever, ONCE? I know, we have technologically advanced, and we all have free messages, but is this way to torture every moment?

There are guys who dictate their girls to not wear sleeveless and showy dresses, but when they get down in a mall, They are the first ones to look out for the girls who wear this? Males are such hypocrites, They have all the problems with their girlfriend's female friends. What kind of life a girl who gets this kind of guy lives! HELL, A hell given by males! TORTURE! For god's sake, Let her breathe, and give her the required space. Or she ll soon realize that you are making her life hell, and will leave you!

I have pathos with the people like these, and pity on their lives and the kind of lives they are living! God has given all of us just one life? And you are responsible for making it pathetic instead of beautiful.  Grow up!

Love is all what we crave for. To get true love. Ha! And if at all we get "true" love, what do we do? We fight? We make that person cry whom we left the world for? We give pain? Please. Stop falling in love, and polluting the word, if this is what you want to do after getting the one you love. Life is so short to spread hatred. One should realize it before its too late. 

Eyes and I.

Yeah, those sparkling and twinkling thing on your face- laid safely between the white hard shell that captures and encapsulates every little thing you take notice of, which directly connects it to your grey cells. Yeah, I got an infection there. Severe one. And my face looked abhorrent. And I couldn't even smile nicely, 'coz when I smiled, my eyes take a natural closure, and it pained badly every time I did smile. I couldn't wink at my friends in class. I could not rub them. I could not close them well. But After 10 long days, It is recovering, and getting back to its original shape. Thank god for that!

I really had to take good care of them. And also take the antibiotics. I hate them. But my eyes... They aren't twinkling any more. I have to take utmost care of them to see them sparkle again.

I realized, the amount of pain one has to undergo with these god-gifted bodies that comes as a package with our flesh. I just wish, nothing of that sort happen to anyone else. It was bad. It embarrassed me everywhere. And pain- was just infinite. 

Eyes, are the most beautiful part of our face , I think. They express so much. And they are truthful. They are not like sycophants or puppets. They are pure and transparent.

All of you people, who have got their bodies in a right condition, Feel pride and don't crib. Make a judicious use of it. And please, Please.. take care.. You see, We all know 'prevention is better than cure'.

Dear Valentine, Beware!

On this day of love,

when love is in the air,

and people in love,

are pouring their hearts out.

I, desolate.. but happy,

after realizing love,

is not that we fancy, But

Love is a gamble.

It is not about making castles,

and going gaga about.

It is all about making sacrifices,

and being faithful.

It is dark,

It is a hope,

It is an ostentation,

It is love,

Oh, What a grave and passionate obsession!

Love is like a rose,

but not a bed of roses.

So, Dear Valentine,

Think before you let your feelings flow.

Slighest of hope keeps me going!

Everyday,

I lose! 

Everyday,

something morbid occurs to me,

But even after losing,

I wanna win.

I wanna live,

I wake up afresh,

with a new ray of hope,

a hope to win, someday!

All we need is a flicker of light... and this is how life goes on!

Strength in togetherness?

We were like a string of pearls in the same thread,

S T R I N G    B R E A K S   O F F ,

What now remains is, A single pearl, all apart! 

What is more precious,

A pearl, or a String of pearls?

I feel low...

I am low because I want to be. I desperately need to share my thoughts, feelings and emotions the way I used to. I have become too much frustrated, possibly because of the monotony in my life;someone said. On one side there is an insurmountable academic pressure and on the other side there is this "void",I am lately feeling in my life. My life seems to be surrounded with all kinds of darkness with no rays of light coming from anywhere. "Things are psychological", someone said.

Whenever I see people, having fun and sharing over the happy and sad moments of their lives, I feel cagey and pity on thyself. I am trying to find answers to my questions , "unknown questions".I always provide myself with reasons to keep me satisfied. But, in real, I know what is the truth.

Automatically, when I think about my life, my tear glands starts functioning. I don't cry, but I sob; whenever I am alone. When I wake up every morning- I find no reasons to carry on with my life. I may be failing. But I think I am learning the different ways the life treat us, and right now I am learning the bad things. See the ways, I keep consoling myself! 

I can no more count on people, and can share my things, I think of the different things they are going to think about me. I dislike the things I used to love at one point of time. My tastes are changing. The way I treat people is changing. I am changing. May be for good. But bad is not yet ruled out of the option. I don't know, what is eating up inside me. I am not being able to find reasons for my sadness. I am not being able to deal with inner me. I don't know , why I keep judging people all the time? Why do I feel this way? Is it common among all the people in my age-group? I need to change, and find the answers for my unknown questions before it is too late.

I have become the one who is glued to her mobile, not to text but to play games.
I have become the one who likes to watch Balika Vadhu sharp at 8'0 clock,
I have become the one who keeps earphones stuck to her ears to listen to radio,
I have become the one who likes to do nothing,
I have become the one who wants to do tit- for-tat for everything,
I have become the one who dresses disastrously,

Instead of
having loads of friends to text,
watching reality shows or may be the talk shows ,
to listen the hip- hop, or hard rock music
having infinite books to read,
having infinite household chores to do,
forgiving and forgetting people,
having the biggest wardrobe people dream to have,

I have become the way I now am.

P.S.- People reading this might think - what kind of article is this, but 'am only trying to vent out my sad feelings, and the way I have been lately feeling about my life.