Nothing can be done.

Butterflies,

gush of blood,

soothing after effect,

almost magical.

What you said, 

was not supposed to happen,

has now 

already happened. 

It had to lead this way,

you knew it,

we knew it,

yet, it bruises me. 

It happened,

and,

Nothing can be done,

about it.

It was something more than this? 

We all want to believe that.

But I have nothing to believe,

nothing to hold on to. 

Perhaps,

I can rely on,

my butterflies,

gush of blood un-felt,

things unspoken,

and my small fancy world,

where reside you and I. 

Longing...

I wish to pen down my words,
I want to speak my heart loud,
I crave to talk aloud,
I desire to be heard,
I yearn to meet,
I pine to hear,


All that I want to do,
I can't. 

An excerpt...

"Knowing the nuanced details of someone’s life.
Knowing that you mean the world to him. 
Knowing that he would never ever let you go. 
Knowing that happiness became synonyms with him. 
Knowing that all my friends have accepted him as my better half. 
Everything just felt right. 
Knowing the cons of his personality. 
I kept faith in him. 
Highest level of faith that I could ever keep in someone."

When you endure pain ...

Less did I know,

in the process of enduring pain,

and learning to live with it,

and befriending agony, 

you should be happy 

or bitten by melancholia?

Blames,

guilt,

deceit,

taunts.

I wonder,

smiles that you brought,

shortlived though,

are worth missing. But,

this void,

it's creepy,

weird sounds,

and some odd imprints 

that you left behind,

I carry alongwith me,

every day, every night,

in pride, 

in the process of 

enduring the pain...

more I think about you,

more is the pain I derive,

and more, I lose my part. 

The essence of being lonely.

Lonely. I am sure this word bangs your head infinite number of times and scares the shit out of you.  Let me guess, when you have no one to share your innate thoughts, or happy moments and the sad things about your surroundings. As human beings, we are meant to feel these emotions. Happiness. Love. Sadness. Loneliness. Rage. Jealousy. Lust. Greed. We have all the right to have mates and friends all around us, afterall we all are social animals. And we need people to share and gradually grow in our lives. It's not abnormal or there is nothing wrong in feeling lonely. 

Why are people scared about being left alone?

While someone is scared of losing their precious, someone is fearful of being ignored. It's never a good feeling to be the "neglected" one. It's a scary feeling undoubtedly. Everyone wishes to get loved by others and everyone wants to be appreciated. A turmoil and inner conflict is born when no one is there to listen to you, to pat your back, to understand what you are going through. That is when feel loneliness reflects on your face. 

And everyone feels alone at some point or the other, perhaps it's a universal feeling. 

"At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one's lost self."- Brendan Francis 

On one hand where solitudeness creates a void in your heart or keeps you perturbed.However, a different way to look at it can be, it can also guide to the way to know yourself better. When you are surrounded with people all around you and are busy with your chores for long days, you never get a chance to think about yourself and to question yourself (which is important). But once you are left in your own space, you start questioning yourself and try to understand yourself better by introspecting what went wrong and how can it be improved. It's important to achieve something in life. It teaches you a lot of things. It lteaches you a lot about yourself. 

According to me, when you are alone, it can be leading to the process of knowing the self. You can open up face-to-face with yourself without hiding your true emotions. We all expertise in maintaining a facade to display ourselves to the world because of the fear of being judged all the time. We all fear of being put into a trial and therefore become multi-faceted. It's only when you are left in solitude, you can realize your own worth, and be yourself. Just yourself. You can appreciate yourself. You can think anything without the guilt of feeling it. 

Loneliness is a real eye-opener. I guess one should not be scared of feeling lonely at times. Its important for the realization and manifestation of better you. 

Caution- In many cases- a demon/evil is born in the mind of the lonely being which is harmful/fatal if not channelised in the right direction.

Think about yourself. Love yourself. And know yourself. 

You are all worth it~ 

It's one of those days...

It's one of those days,

when life looks like a maze,

rain brings gloom to your heart,

sunset goes unnoticed. 

roaring noises suddenly mutes,

demonic traffic irritates you no more,

It's one of those days, when

no song can cheer you up!

No cuisine can satisfy you,

Aroma of the chocolate can't charm you in,

It's one of those days,

when you forget eating at all.  

It's one of those days,

turbulence is pumping inside you,

when something is vexing you,

that you can't speak, that you can't express,

that you don't want people to know.

It's one of those days,

when you feel lost,

when you don't know what to do,

or how to do.

Mind boggles.

Rarely hurt.

Feeling less.

Perhaps, still and

motionless. 

When life changes...

Life changes,

even before you start realizing.

Some changes are for good,

some changes are for bad.

Whether bad or good,

changes are dificult to accept. 

And the key to accept the changes,

is... time, and nothing else. 

My persistent smile.

I smile,

I smile all the time,


I smile when I'm tired,
I smile when I don't like anything,
I smile when people ignore me,
I smile when I'm sad,
I smile when I look myself in the mirror,
I smile when I fall,
I smile when I am fired,
I smile when people judge me,


But that doesnt mean,
I don't feel different emotions,
though people won't believe.


Because I smile,
and let it go.
Because I ignore,
and let it go.


Two-faced I am,
because I smile, 
and hide other side. 

Very less people know, 
what it takes a person to smile all the time, 
and to hide the pain behind the smile. 

How ironic?

Most of the time, the person we were closest to,
whom we entitled our secret-bearer,
in front of whom we laid our hearts on the wishful trays,
with whom, we could share something as personal as passwords.


Ironically, turns out to be the person who is a complete stranger today,
And mind you, Stranger with the hard feelings and a challenging level of discomfort. 
(of course, these days google can help you find the person's whereabouts).

TIP: Staying extra- close to anyone is contagious to the relationships.

On observing the type of relationships around, I found out and came to the conclusion that a lot of people are breaking up 'coz they have nothing left to talk about. The future of those couples is then anticipated to break up, for there is nothing left to share. And then, the relationship is doomed forever. 

Then why say, "Forever"?

Who has invented this word "forever"? Is there anything like "forever"? 


Forever. When someone says, "You are my friend forever"! Does that mean, that XYZ person is not going to leave you alone ever? Really? And when these two friends fight over some stupid shit, and they cry over each other's egotism, that "forever" is lost forever. 


Who/what is going to be with us forever, till death sets us apart? Any idea? Please tell me? 


"Love you forever", "friends forever", are such messages, that I find super- irritating. It's all over Facebook and other social networking sites. Under every hot-shot picture, flooded in the comments. I can't even take it when any of my friends say "love you", like that. Can't we save these words for that someone special or anyone for whom we really mean? Why everyone? 


Forever? D'oh. Everyone comes in our life, some stay for good, some stay to make life more miserable. But the common thing that follows is, they all leave. They promise each other to stay together forever. But we all know, that is not the truth. 


Go back to your sweet childhood days, and spare a moment to think about the people you have left behind till now.  Each class, new best friend? LOL. We make best friend each year, break up each year? Why? Why make best friends then? 


Life is short, we all know that. Yet, there's no one that lives with us forever. 
Everyone breaks that promise of staying together forever. No doubt, most of the people break our trust on the way. And some people just die. And then, separation becomes inevitable. 


Please stop using the word "forever", for it gives me hope about the person- which tears me apart, when broken?  Why can't all the relationships start with a guarantee card? 


What do you say now about "forever"? Anyone for "forever"? 


In this walk of life, we meet some good people whom we love deeply. We also meet some people who do no good. But the important thing is, we learn a new lesson from everyone we come across. One should never forget the lessons learnt, even if that person doesn't stay in your life. Remember to remember the lesson. That's the way we move ahead in life. :) 

The essence of rain.

"By far, the vault of heaven is overly impregnated with massive clouds, that are similar to the gleam of blackish - cotuses... somewhere- they are similar to the glitter of the heaps of well- kneaded blackish mascara... and elsewhere they glisten like the blackened nipples of the bosoms of pregnant women, ready to rain the elixir of lie on the lips of her offspring, when that offspring is actualised... "- Kalidasa

It was late evening today. I was returning back from a shopping complex after meeting my friend. We bid off adieus. The black clouds were visible and soon it started drizzling. I waited for sometime under the shed, but as it was getting darker. I had to reach home. And I had to drive my bike back to home.

I was alone. And it rained. Heavily.

I started to drive. I couldn't wait. Rainy season is my favourite season. And it was a chance get wet in rain, that my mommy usually doesn't let me, because she is scared to see to ill, like all other moms. Perhaps, I couldn't miss this chance. I drove. At first, slowly. Rain drops fell over me, like they were pampering me with love and affection. Then I geared up and achieved some thrill in the speed. And then, rain drops hit me hard on my face and my bare hands. I was drenched in rain water already, and my hair stuck to my forehead. My eyelids shut on its own, because it was raining cats and dogs. I stopped for a while, after finding the corner on the road, and wore a helmet. It prevented me from getting water in my eyes. And then, I drove safely with my eyes wide open.

I drove back home through the meandering ways. Balancing bike was a tough job even more when roads are divided by numerous holes filled with water. These holes create water logging problems severely. I banged into the main door hurriedly as soon as I touched the border of my home. Parked my bike in the garage, freed myself from the helmet. And I rushed back into the rain. Again.

I felt rain. Everywhere. I believe in one of my philosophies sternly. It is- 'when it rains, someone up there, is either very happy because of me, or extremely sad because of me', And today, I felt the happiness that I might have given someone. May be. But when I stretched my neck up towards the sky, and felt the rain drops over my face, I felt bliss. It felt heavenly. Something that I was missing out. Realizing that I have made someone feel happy(according to my philosophy), opened every pore of my skin. It was mesmerising to experience that blissful moment, along with the fragrance of the wet mud. I opened my arms and felt raindrops on my rosy palms, wrist, hands, and on my gapped teeth. And then, my phone suddenly rung with a ringtone, Ah! 'somebody's me'. It felt great. I felt rejuvenated and refreshed all over. 

Rains are god's gift to this earth. Surely the elixir of life. We are blessed. I felt blessed. I forgot all my pains, and worries, and washed them away with the rain. 

When it rains, my mind washes away all the negative thoughts. 

Importance of Love.

Who doesn't want love? Raise your hands, please! Stay honest to yourself while reading the article.


Everyone wants love. And no one can do without it. I must mention-love of any kind-of parents, spouse, friends, etc. Love is like the drug, because it is addictive. Love is like a need. A need, without which you can't do. You need to hear "I love you",time to time. It's necessary, like we do other things set in our time-tables.


Everyone in this chaotic and distressed world searches for that "someone", who makes them feel special. For someone, who have faith in them. For someone, who is capable of making them smile. For someone, who can be companion during all the times-happy and sad. Without love, you feel broken or shattered or depressed. And incomplete. You desire human touch. You can't do without blissful hugs, when torn apart. And that touch creates magic unknown. 


And the biggest irony is, when we get that kind of person-we abuse, we disobey, we say all kinds of bad things, we get over-possesive, we betray, we cheat, we lie, we make wanton excuses to get out of it. May be because we are over-done in the relationship. But then, why do we need love, and we search for love? What do we do that with 'Love' that we want so badly? 


But you know, Love is a pure feeling, the purest of all and there's that precious moment when we feel love. You can feel it rarely. Yes, that's when you feel special. That's when you trust the other person more than yourself. That's when you give in. 
Love makes you feel secure. It gives the assurance of the kind that any amount of money can't give. People who are rich are constantly worried, because they don't get love. They just stay with each other to get material benefits( I might be wrong, but i've seen it in most of the aristocratic families-perhaps, just being honest). Love is that feeling which makes us feel everything right. 


One thing is for sure, when a bond is tied by the strings of love, no body can break it, if you don't want to. You can neither stop the person from leaving you if they are keen to leave. Because you can't control anyone. You always do what you want to do. Therefore, it's definitely not a good idea to bound them with different kinds of restrictions. It stresses the relationships unnecessarily. "When you love someone, set them free. For they'll come back to you like a boomerang if love is true." 
The myth, that distances break the relations. It doesn't. It makes you fall in love more deeply than ever. More than you can ever imagine. 


Spread love, instead of spreading jealousy, possessiveness , and malice. Don't mix the terms.

P.S.-I have written about this topic after a very long time, please co-operate with me, and let me know about the things you disagree to. And please understand that, it is not only the romantic love I'm talking about. 

Can we really change the world?

I have entered in my 20's, and am gradually realizing how imperfect the world is. And, we all try to change the things around us constantly, one after the other. We nag, we crib and we dislike the surroundings. Its natural. We all have faced this. We don't like the injustice happening to the just people. We don't like the way court delays the justice. We crib about the way government rules. We nag about the people in authority. We display antipathy towards our neighbors of some stupid reason of the music being played loudly, We mock at the local police. We disapprove of the way traffic rules being broken. We detest ourselves from the people we find are mean and selfish or egoistic. What are we doing exactly? And why are we enraged to see the wrongs happening around us. Okay, I understand we are the youth of the country ,and our blood boils at 100 degrees Celsius at the sight of unjustness around us. But, Could we actually change anything? 

More than six decades have passed since the time our country got its freedom from the invaders. Why does the corruption still exist? Why are the cricket matches fixed? Why do women still abhor to walk on the streets late night? Why are the murders, rapes, robberies taking place everywhere?

From your busy lives, take a moment and give a thought, Are we really free? And where are we heading towards? Can't we do anything to change this? Yes, we can protest, we can shout, we can write, We can also cry, or we can sit idle and chit-chat about it during our coffee-breaks. But, the million dollar question is- Can we really change something? 

We blame our Prime- minister, home-minister, finance minister, railway minister, chief- minister and all the various people up ruling our country and keep cursing them day and night. We curse everyone, we curse our society for the orthodox rules they follow. We blame our friends for egotism. We blame media. We blame our teachers for not completing our syllabi on time. We blame our parents to not give us that expensive cell-phone our friend has. And we are so scared to take the blames over ourselves.Yes, its true, We never take the blames on ourselves. I read a nice quotation saying - "shift the blames to someone else, and move on".  Ha, How true. But do we really move on?

Jessica Lall, Aarushi Talwar, Radhika Tanwar, and many more lives have been sacrificed without any reason, Right from deaths out of terrorists attacks to the natural calamities, We haven't been able to prevent anything. We can be vigilant, and we can pray to our respective gods. What else can we do? Of course, each of us will die someday. But who has given the rights to these devilish people, who think they can kill the innocents and get away like that. 

My point is- Somewhere, we all are responsible, as the citizens of this country. For once, held yourself responsible in the wrongs around you, Take the blame over yourself, and try to change 'you'. We all know, we can't really change anything on a big scale, But we try. This caption over "Leaders For Tomorrow"( A major youth NGO) tee says-" Lets change the world". I would love to see it as, "Lets change ourselves, world will take its care itself." Therefore, If we change ourselves, and keep changing ourselves according to the situations constantly, world for us would/can be a better place to live in, Because, It is in our own hands to change ourselves!

Stay responsible, everything will fall in place.

An ode to the times lost.

You were so precious to me, more than anything else.

I don't know why did you go?

I told you all the tit-bits of my life, And now.. we behave like any other acquaintance.

Something must be wrong at your end, and something at my end, I'm sure..

You were so close to me,

You were..

my guide,

my friend,

my relative,

my savior,

my solution,

my secret- bearer.

My life depended on you.

I needed you to take a step ahead.

When I came here, to this alien land,

I was relieved to know, that you were here.

But I don't know,

And I can't understand how things changed.

And why things changed?

I trusted you with my heart.

You were dearest to me, if not to anyone else,

Didn't you ever feel, you were important to me?

Didn't you ever miss me?

Why did you chose to leave me?

Wasn't I worth of you?

Did I do you any harm?

Why? WHY? I OFTEN ASK MYSELF,

And knowing it, that times can never be same,

Because we have departed, once! 

You were like a mirror to me,

I could see my real self into you,

and now, that we have scattered,each broken part can never be stuck together.

I miss you,

and the times we have lost behind.

I accuse myself.

And I still love you,

without letting you know.

P.S- Its an ode to all the special life people in my life, with whom I grew up, but are not together , or aren't that close in my today.

A ladder to success

I see your eyes, drenched in pride..

They say, pride is one of the seven sins.. 

In your dreams, the space you created.. 

Oh buddy, keep your calm,

And stay confident..

Over-confidence leads one nowhere..

I know you can do it,

and achieve the highest of your goals,

Oh buddy.. Don't lose your patience!

As they say, Patience is the key to success.

One day, when you achieve the highest of all you dreamt,

Don't forget the people on your way!

Especially me, for I wrote this for you- 

I'm sure, I'll be able to see, once again your eyes drenched in pride!