SHATTERED

My eyes were closed,

My life was slow,

My heart was true,

My mind was translucent..

I am sure,

I can't hurt a soul.

I am soft spoken,

I am unselfishly.

I'LL NOT BE THE SAME ANYMORE.. 

People are shrewd,

People are cunning,

I can't take my life as it comes.

I'm hurt.. 

I'M hurt the most,

I won't be truthful,

I won't be polite,

I'll be unreasonable,

MY EYES ARE WIDE OPEN NOW,

I'll make the pace of my life faster,

My mind will be opaque,

 I can hurt people,

 I'll be selfish..

'COZ NOW, AM SHATTERED,

BADLY HURT..!!

:'((

Without you,

Without you,
I feel blue,
I feel scared,
I hardly care..

I feel unwanted,
I feel rejected,
I feel disowned,
I feel dispassionate..


I feel like screaming,
I feel like crying,
I feel uncertain,
I feel burdened..


Without you, I feel lonely......

Deep Inside ...

Deep Inside ...
We all believe in god,

Deep Inside ...
We long to be truly loved,

Deep Inside ...
We yearn to be "missed" by some heart,

Deep Inside ...
We crave for attention,

Deep Inside ...
We wanna own a house as beautiful as palace,

Deep Inside ...
We miss the one, we left behind.. and moved on,

Deep Inside ...
We are hurt more, when we hurt someone,

Deep Inside ...
We all want someone special in life,

Deep Inside ...
We wait for our birthday throughout the year,

Deep Inside ...
We let off our ego for the one we love,

However harsh we appear to be outside, or mould ourselves to be..
We have innocence as a child,
We have purest feelings,
We have purest hearts,

TRY BEING URSELF, BECAUSE THERE'S NOBODY WHO KNOWS US BETTER THAN OUR TRUE SELVES..!!

Siblings Tit-Bits

After very long.. i am here writing a blog, after my dad forced me to write something today.. So, the topic i chose was very general.. and of course common.. !! We all fight with our younger or elder bro or sis.. RITE??

To be honest.. i love fighting with my younger bro over slightest of the things..His name is GAURAV.. this is my first blog, dedicated to you.. He has always been cribbing ..  that i pen down everything about everybody around me, and never about him.. though he knows that i love him the most..!!

ONCE upon a time, I wrote a lot about him, in my private diary.. when i was small.. because i hated him, and i couldn't ever tell that to anybody, so i wrote.. but the day i realized the other part of him, i tore off my personal diary.. and he became one of my living personal diaries, who loves me as i am..I am the luckiest sis, to have him,As my friends put in..and lately, i believe them.. I am the luckiest sister..

I will never ever forget the times, he was there with me, when nobody was.. He patted my back everytime, supported me, loved me.. AS I AM.. I have no other person in my life as him, for he knows all my flaws, and still endures me with his kindness, and showers me with the absolute love.. 

We fight,

We crib,

We tease,

We share,

We shout,

BUT,

We love,

We hug,

We keep secrets,

We wipe tears..!!

He teases me for i am fat, he eats all the things i love in front of my very eyes, but secretly.. he comes to me,and shares his part for i love eating those things..

Once, I  remember,  my mum reduces my pocket money to Rs 700 from Rs 1500, it was obvious that i was disappointed.. coz i had planned to do several things, i was crying.. He same upto me, wiped off my tears, and opened his piggy bank{which has a lot of money} to me.. and asked me to take any amount i wanted.. God.. even in my dreams i cannot forget this kindness of him.. 

He is the one, who, when goes anywhere leaving me alone at home.. i miss him, i call him, and i cry to him.. He s the only angel of my life, With him.. its always feels good, coz he makes me know everything about me, he supports me while i fight over minial things at home, he sacrifices his part to me.. if he comes to know that i m in need.. All my friends love him, more then they love me.. :)

He is the one who doesn't boasts about himself, although he knows he is much more superior, intellegent and smarter than I, I may not always be there for him.. but he surely is always there for him.. 

I know, he 's a gem of a person.. and he deserves the heights of the sky.. From the bottom of my heart.. i thank god, of making me his sister because of his calm ways of dealing with me.. He s one such person , i ll say sorry despite i havn't made any mistakes, i ll shout over him.. n he ll still smile to me, i ll push him away when he wants to hug me.. but ll always hug me back when i ll hug him...

OOPS, i juzz forgot.. this article was about our fights.. I guess, we love more.. i have no bad words about him, i don't think anything bad about him.. I love him to the core of my heart.. and wanna thank him.. for everything he has done to me.. knowingly or unknowingly.. !!

He' s undoubtedly the best person.. the best guy in my life.. and i cant stop being proud to be his sister..!! 

Felt elegaic

It was Eid-ul-fitr, Saturday.. and a holiday! I woke up around 8am ; I believed it to be a day normal as other days were.. but it wasn't the same. There was a hustle bustle in and around my home, some expected guests arrived. 

At around 10am, i recieved a message- "****** is no more" , she was my classmate cum friend and to recieve such a message.. i was stupified,  It seemed ,I had lost my senses for another few minutes.. I wasn't crying initially.. but it bewildered me.. I couldn't believe my eyes.. I deleted the message the very next moment, Words were rolled up in my mouth itself, It was the most shocking message of my life till now. So many questions kept popping up in my mind.. and all the times i had spent with her, kept flashing in and out. I couldn't believe.. I cried.. I cried aloud !

I know deaths are inevitable, and uncertain too.. We all know that , we all will die one day.. but, yet we feel a difficulty to accept it.. there are some people without whom our existence seems impossible.. Thousands of people die everyday.. We read about them and we forget.. Life encircles around death every moment.. and we cannot do anything about it. 

Nobody knows, when one is gonna bowled out. Grief follows. Every person is special for someone or the other.. Yet, life goes on.. people learn to live without them.. 

I, personally, felt a thunderstruck, when i realised that, we are never gonna see her again.. ever..ever.. ever.. nothing seemed to please me.. 

"mourns, mourns, mourns"