Found poetry.

Found this poem in my last year books. Today, this poetry makes so much sense. 


To be honest, I don't remember if this is written by me, or no... but it felt like a REAL treasure when I found it right now. 

koshish thi ki khud se jeetun,

par main khud se haar gayi.

kya isse kahu main haar gayi,

jab uss pyaar se haar gayi.

kahin agar main usse ek manzil,

toh uss manzil se haar gayi.

par himmat na haari maine,

aur har mushkil ko paar kiya,

woh shayad ek seedi tha,

manzil ka jisko darja diya,

kathinaayian ki har seedi chadkar,

aaj main baazi maar gayi. 

I can't breakfree.

Trapped,

Chained in the opinions,

keys lost

I can't breakfree.

Affected,

living with thyself,

unwanted,

I can't breakfree.

Tempted to go back,

I can't decide,

A tune in my head,

I can't breakfree.

Dragged by emotions,

unable to face the truth,

crafting the patterns,

I can't breakfree. 

Restlessness,

Peace of mind lost,

so used,

I can't breakfree.

All lost,

noone to hold onto,

none to fall-back on,

unable to trust,

I can't breakfree. 

What makes you happy?

I understand happiness is ephemeral.


The strange thing, I realised, that I am unable to make myself happy. This realisation is quite scary in itself. I tried to observe what makes/keeps me happy. But I couldn't understand what made me happy generally. I am not a depressed soul or something. I have a smiling face. And my first reaction to things is usually a smile. But happiness? 


I tried hard to track a pattern. It was simple for me. I recieve immense pleasure and happiness and seeing people around me happy. More when its because of me, but I am happy when they are happy.


But the funny thing is that it still required people around me. If I am alone, what would make me happy. Perhaps, answer to this question was difficult. I had no answer. I kept thinking about it. I am still thinking. 


So, I want you all the readers, to think about what makes you happy. Just you, when you are with yourself. How do you keep yourself happy? It's important for each one of you to know and understand. Is your happiness conditional? Is it dependent on someone? Is it to do with your interest? What is it? Define happiness for yourself, with regards to ONLY you. 


Please leave your comments. 

Nothing can be done.

Butterflies,

gush of blood,

soothing after effect,

almost magical.

What you said, 

was not supposed to happen,

has now 

already happened. 

It had to lead this way,

you knew it,

we knew it,

yet, it bruises me. 

It happened,

and,

Nothing can be done,

about it.

It was something more than this? 

We all want to believe that.

But I have nothing to believe,

nothing to hold on to. 

Perhaps,

I can rely on,

my butterflies,

gush of blood un-felt,

things unspoken,

and my small fancy world,

where reside you and I.